This is part of a comment left on my last post(you can click on it to see the whole thing):
“To put it another way, why should I let her go? She’s useful just where she is; close enough to think she’s dating me and far enough away she doesn’t delude herself into believing she has authority in the relationship.
That’s the only language I speak. What’s in it for me. Appealing to my self interest will get you farther then relying on my moral compass or compassion.”
My Response:
If you date a woman who really has “no authority in the relationship” you are most likely dating some who can’t hold a conversation or you’re a pimp. I’m not judging your life style either way, but what man wants someone who they can date and make it seem like a relationship but they have no say in anything that goes on in it, it sounds like dating a blow-up doll.
As for addressing self interests over morals, I suppose for someone who really believes that, yes, in the SHORT term you’ll def win out, selfishness is briefly satisfying. In the LONG term, you’ll be alone, or well, not to be redundant, but…a pimp.
Whether the comment was written to get an angry response or was in fact how this guy feels, I’m not sure, but what it did for me is bring up a question or three:
What is with guys dating a girl for weeks or even months JUST to fuck her? who has that kind of time at this age?
And in terms of the comment: Why is it so hard for you just to leave a girl alone? I would guess it’s because you want to know you can still have it if you want it, but when you honestly know you want nothing to do with this woman in the long run, you’re both in your early to mid-twenties and have very little time for game playing, why not just let her go? Why not stop calling every 2 weeks when it’s right before she forgets about you and right after she says she’ll give it one more day? Or apologizing when you’re not really sorry, just to fuck it all up again?
Just wondering….honest responses are welcomed.
Happy Monday.
xoxo
I’m not sure if this response is related, but these are the thoughts that came to my head while reading that
Most guys (at least I do) can tell within a week if a girl is worth dating seriously. After a week or 2 if she’s not “Mom there’s someone I want you to meet” material We do the following equation:
MT spent * MT needed / LOB required = Sex
MT= Money or Time
LOB= Layers of Bullshit
Pretty basic, and I know I’m not saying anything that you girls don’t already know; But Tulani you asked the question “You have very little time for game playing…..why not just let her go?” And the answer simply is; we already put time in. Whether its 1, 2, 10 dates or even a few text messages after meeting; we put some type of effort in and want to get our reward.
The guy in that quote said “…why should I let her go? She’s useful where she is..” I couldn’t agree more. If a girl can’t see that the guy is playing games, if she has to justify it by saying”I’ll give it one more day” or “he’s been really busy and doesn’t have time to take me out” then she’s insecure. Guys hate that shit. I want a self empowered women that knows what she wants, and makes me work for it. Otherwise it gets old fast and we lose interest.
Quick story: I met a girl a few weeks ago at a bar, we totally hit it off and went back to her place. I made my move and we fooled around a bit, but she stopped me before it went to far. And I was completely fine with it. We talked for most of the night and I forgot about sex completely. I respected her alot more in the morning, and couldn’t wait to take her on a real date.
“What is with guys dating a girl for weeks or even months JUST to fuck her? [W]ho has that kind of time at this age?”
Isn’t this the blog where I read about how short phone calls could get me “points, props and sex”? (See May 29th, Seven Numbers that can Make a World of Difference) Moreover, as a wise woman once said, “Busy is bullshit.” Combine the two and you get the inescapable conclusion that it’d be bullshit not to have enough time string along at least one girl.
This is a blog where you read how short phone calls could get a man, that needs to put a little more time into a girl he is dating and who he respects sex. I am not sure if you yourself could get sex at all. But that is only judging by your comments left here, so hey to each lady her own.
Busy is bullshit again pertains to when a man is dating a woman and he isn’t spending enough time with her or he says he couldn’t do something she really cared about because he was “busy”. Either he isn’t trying or he doesn’t like her. It does not pertain to the months that someone will dedicate to getting some ass.
I feel like you may be making the common man mistake of reading what you want to be written, interpreting it and then looking to pass it off as truth. I’ve dated a few of your type. I can say it was always entertaining.
Hope that clears things up.
I have rarely been disagreed with in a more gracious manner. You truly are a delight.
Wait, wait, wait. You do the shit yourself, and you’re asking other people why they do it? That’s like a thief wondering why someone stole his television.