We know you know. You know that no matter how cynical, clever, cheeky, impervious to pain and girly frills a lady might be, we all have dreams. No matter how suppressed they may have become over the years, no mater how hard we try to deny them or act like were better than the girls who’ve planned out their wedding and dream house, they’re still there. Now maybe not on that same scale of weddings and babies, but maybe a cute apartment in the city and a dinner party with their boyfriend every now and then. Regardless of the girl, and in many cases boy, we all have them. And I’d like so say: We aren’t in the market for any more, at least ones that will never come true.
The dream seller is a guy that says what you want to hear. Regardless of how he really feels or where he sees the relationship going, he says it, because well, it makes a girl momentarily happy. That momentary happiness can pay off for him in a variety of ways while being emotionally detrimental to a many a woman. If she cares about you, she listens to what you say. She believes when you tell her that you “want this forever”, “you’re the fuckin’ best”, bla bla bla. Yeah sometimes you mean it and your feelings just change…other times, well you know you don’t mean that shit, but hey, she slept with you right? Ugh…
The Dream Seller is my least favorite kind of guy because I’ll be damned if that man doesn’t sound genuine as hell. A sweet talker who you want to believe because, you couldn’t imagine why he’d say it or do it if he didn’t mean it. Sometimes they’re tiny dreams like you take a girl that you don’t really like that much, but are trying to sleep with, away for a weekend to a nice spot, take a walk on the beach, and while she talks about how she’s never been anywhere this beautiful, you look at her and say: “with me you can have anything you want…” Now, you know you aren’t trying to do shit for this chick besides bed her in the warm sand…you didn’t need to fabricate a new dream in her head of a future when you know there isn’t one.
People say certain things and act certain ways that they don’t genuinely mean to illicit emotions and feelings from the person they’re dating. They will feign interest, loyalty or just plain old caring so that they can get all of those things back from the other person. They receive these feelings and emotions from that person and could care less what they do with it and care even less about the fact that they don’t feel they same way about it because they are getting exactly what they want. But as good as it makes you feel, when do you stop thinking of yourself and start thinking of the other person, and when you do, will it mean anything?
The one real dream seller I can think of did so in a way that I think most men don’t even realize they’re doing. When you are dating or “talking” to more than one woman it is perfectly fine, but for goodness sake, be honest. There is no reason for you to lead any lady to believe she is the one when she is just one of the ones. This happened to me back in college and then recently I heard at lest two stories from friends about just this kind of thing. Over lunch and white Sangria my friend told me of the guy she had been dating for a few months. Sweet exchanges, dates and attention, she thought it was going well, on new years eve they weren’t together, but he text her a picture of him blowing her a kiss, I know nauseatingly sweet. So a day or so later said friend is on Facebook, happens to come across this man’s page and low and behold “he was in a relationship with…not me” zing! (Mind you this was a recent change on his FB) Not awesome at all. Though the real B of all of this is that she didn’t even know he was dating other people. All of this would have been much less of a punch to the gut had he not been dream selling and bullshitting for months. But alas, had he been honest would my girl had liked him as much? Well possibly, but he wasn’t will to take the risk with his feelings, just hers.
In the end the dream seller and the lie teller are one in the same. No it’s not a total lie and you could actually mean some of the things you say or do, but it’s lying by omission. The little things you don’t say or the other women you don’t mention, matter. Especially if your feelings one day change and realize you don’t just want to sell her dreams, but actually live them with her, because you never know, by that point she may just realize she’s not that into and you’re the one that’s been sold right up the river.