Summer lovin’, happened so fast…had me a blast…well most of us know the rest, but really that first part, is all that matters. Even the Urban Dictionary has it right. Summer flings are…impulsive. It’s intense and most of all it’s hot, sometimes literally (bite the bullet, buy the air conditioning unit, thank me later). Unlike winter boo’s, summer love (and I am in fact using the word “love” lightly, because I probably should be saying summer lust but lovin’ was more catchy) is meant to be spent outside in the sun, meeting new people, day drinking (darties if you will), running, jumping swimming…you get the point, it’s not the cuddle me to stay warm kind of relationship, or it’s too cold to dance on the roof top kind of love, it’s sweaty balls to the walls fun.
People look better in the summer. All people. It’s just a fact. Men are hotter, women are sexier. People have spent the spring getting fit for the beach or working off their winter weight. This fact alone makes the summer fling potential soar. Less clothing and better looking people, there aren’t many that could ask for more. So, you ask, what’s the problem with that? Well I say not a damn thing, good looking men, tans and hot bods, sign me up…
There are more places to go and more people to see…go there, see them. There is nothing better than traveling, outdoor brunching and just generally soaking up as much vitamin D as possible while surrounded by good people. There are so many great deals and trips to be had, that it’s hard to not want someone great to do that with. And honestly, it takes some of the pressure off of your fling as well. These group activities make a fling more fun. Being able to invite a cute guy or girl out with 10 of your closest friend says…I want you there, but I’d be doing this anyway.
They’re an added bonus. Unless you’re a total lame, you love the summer. No coats weighing us down, no snow to trudge through, no cars to clean off or black ice to hopefully not bust your face on. It’s a time of camaraderie and good feelings. Your friends who have been hibernating are ready to come out and play. The vibe during summer is just different. Trust me, I just walked out of my room to one roommate eating out of a carton of ice cream and the other smoking weed…it’s 8:30am, but hell it’s summer, you do what you want. A fling just adds to all of the awesome stuff you’d be doing anyways, so do it and find someone to enjoy the hell out of it with.
Though, if it seems too good, it’s probably because it is. Like I said, summer makes everything look better…or you’re drunk from brunch still. In almost all relationships you have someone who is just a bit more invested in it than the other. When dealing with a summer fling, this can only work if both parties are in a place to bring the relationship over into fall follies or winter boo’s if not…things could get messy. They’re called summer flings because they’re meant to be just that. You date someone you normally wouldn’t, they’re drama free (or at least are supposed to be) and most of all they’re meant to be short term. Unlike winter boo’s you’re not locked up in a room with them, they don’t have to be wildly intelligent or even all that romantic, they’ve just got to enjoy having fun.
But what if your heads and hearts are in different seasons? Well, if one of you wants more…
Don’t be surprised by a rejection. Usually these flings happen before someone moves away, goes off to school or leaves the country for a year (ahem, hello Spain). They aren’t known for their staying power and shouldn’t be, it robs them of some of their summer fun when they are. These flings stay true to their name when they’re done right and I suggest, strongly, that you respect that. But if you just can’t, if for some reason you realize this girl is your exception, well, bite the bullet buddy, no one likes a punk in love.
If you’re there and she’s not…I’ll be honest, she’s probably lying. There are very few women, though I know some, that want a summer fling that only lasts from June to Sept. 1st. The reasons for this are pretty obvious and include: girls like relationships a majority of the time, if they’re spending their summer time with you it’s probably because you’re worth dedicating some of the best months of the year to. Oh and the other real reason, the winter’s coming, duh. Summer flings are great, but winter boo’s are often essential. So if a girl says she’s just not that into you after a summer of sex, champagne, sun and sand and she says she means it, like really means it…cut and run or she’ll eat your emotions alive.
Sadly, I’ve had one friend with a summer fling gone bad already this summer. They’re dating, he decides he wants to go back to the last girl he cheated on, played out and left for dead in the cold hard streets of love, and here comes the drama. The scariest words to a fling are without question…”we need to talk.” Because, seriously dude, why? Men are the first ones talking about a booty call, flings, something simple and often the first to be all kinds of caught up in the rapture, as hard as they try to act like they aren’t. Now don’t get me wrong not ALWAYS the first one, but damn do we know when you are, mostly because you try so hard not to be…le sigh.
In the end, as long as you both are coming from a place of understanding, acceptance and general belief that summer is the best damn time of the year, there is little that can fuck up this fling because…well because it will be over in a month and a half at this point and there’s no reason to fix something if it ain’t broken. Happy summer, oh and welcome back, I’v been stock piling ideas and experiences, this blog could get awesome…yeah I’m talking to you, and you should know that.
Next week…the Independent Woman and why she wants nothing more than for you to steal her freedom.