I wasn’t going to write today. But then I read a ridiculous article about “Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single” (I wish there was a hard eye-rolling font). And honestly, it was not only ridiculous because ALL 12 reasons listed had to do with women, but because there is clearly a bigger, more delusional issue here.
There is a not so new trend out there, one that possesses people of all races, genders, creeds and class to tell women why they aren’t married. How it’s a huge travesty that so many Black women are single. They give advice, they tell us what we are doing, what we shouldn’t be doing and what we must do. The advice comes from people like comedian and radio personality Steve Harvey and even more ridiculous sources like the Wall Street Journal, and THRICE-DIVORCED Tracy McMillan (though some of her points did make sense, can’t lie). No really…wtf?
So back to the topic at hand. Guys. You are single….because get this….you want to be. Yes, just that simple. EVERYONE has the exact love/relationship/dating life that they want. So turn that accusing finger right around to your self because women, your daddy, the economy…none of those people or things are to blame.
Now, I’m not saying that women don’t blame other people or that there are no arguments out there that point the finger at men and all of the difficulties they can cause. No, I know they are there. And I’m sure someone reading this will try to bring them all up, but honestly, take a breath and realize that the number of articles blaming women for their own singleness heavily out weighs the other. If it didn’t I would have never started this blog and wouldn’t have enough content for it to last for almost two years now…
So the question is, if women blame themselves, men blame woman, the general public is pointing the finger towards women…when do guys look in the mirror and say…”Maybe it’s me?” I’ll wait.
I think all people, ALL people, who are looking for something more, who are in search for a significant other or who just feel like, “when’s my time to meet the one?” Should take a minute and assess what they have been doing, what they could do better and what they’re not willing to do to find someone to spend their life with…it may surprise you what you come up with when you stop playing the blame game with your love life.
In the end, be the change you want to see. If you want a guy or girl to stop treating you like you don’t matter, than you’ve got to know you’re better than that. If you keep finding people who you think are with you for superficial reasons then you’ve got to seek a deeper connection than “I thought they were hot in the bar.” We’ve all be hurt, come back from a break up, dealt with a liar/cheater, picked the wrong person, felt wronged, felt hurt and Lord knows felt confused. You’re not the only one, get past that, save the pity party and get out there and live the answers. Seriously, what are you waiting for?
xx
Hi my name is david,i have a couple of things i would Like to admite. I completely agree with you on most,mentioned above. We tend to Take the One True and most important soul, and life giving love, for granted. It is done from both sides, but most men do have a verry por way of showing and expresing feelings and even emotions. Un most cases it is miss taken and read the wrong way. It is sad to say that with simple comunication can make an eternity of pain disapear. And in most situations avoid this pain,with something we need to practice called comunication.it also aplies in so many ways 24hours of each day.it is deeply painfull for such a simple things,.wouldnt you all agree? we should never give up on themost
10 percent of human males do 90 percent of the mating. The MEAN number of partners slept with for males and females is the same, but the MEDIAN number of sexual partners for men and women differs drastically by roughly 2:1. This isn’t a social construct, it appears to be something males are biologically driven to do and something that females are perfectly alright with. These statistics appear to hold true for most mammals. Those single men are, in all honesty, not very viable mates.
So many women are single because they get their hearts set on the small percentage of the male population that does the mating. These men might have an attraction to them, but they have little to offer in the form of a relationship because they don’t need to offer anything. The female isn’t giving them anything they can’t get from any other female.
So many men are single because they are, frankly, a bad mate choice. They lack resources, sexual attraction, social skills, whatever it is that attracts women to men.
The harsh truth is survival of the fittest. Only the most attractive males will mate and with a large number of women. Only the most attractive females will be married to men they consider “Worthwhile”.